Expand Your Social Circle in Retirement: New Beginnings

 

New Beginnings: How to Expand Your Social Circle in Retirement

Retirement is a time to sit back and enjoy the fruits of your labor. However, it can also be an incredibly lonely time if you don't have a social circle or community to rely on. I know that when I retired, I lost my work community who supported me both physically and emotionally through the stress and dangers involved with my work.  I trusted that group of people with my life and depended on them to protect me if needed.  I also returned that favor to them all.  Then, poof!, it was gone.

Not only did I lose my work community, but I also had to move to another state where I was able to live on the income I had.  Living in Austin, TX was not a viable option due to the cost of housing there.  I moved to OK to live by my children and family who were able to help me if needed. So, I effectively lost all of my friends and support the minute I retired.

Meeting new people and making friends after retirement is vital for maintaining good mental health, but seems insurmountable at times. Studies have found that social isolation and loneliness among older adults can lead to higher rates of depression, cognitive decline, and even death. 

I struggled for a couple of years to meet new people, but it was a very slow process.  Then I decided to join an exercise class because I needed the exercise and hoped to meet new people there. Over time, I was able to develop new relationships and engage in activities with others that helped me lead a happier life. 

Here are some tips on how to meet new people after you retire:

Join a Club or Group

Find a club or group that interests you

You don't have to stop pursuing your interests. In fact, it's the perfect time to explore new hobbies and passions. One great way to meet new people is by joining a club or group based on your interests. This is exactly what I did when I decided to join Silver Sneakers exercise group.

It doesn't matter what you enjoy--reading, hiking, gardening, or playing cards, there's bound to be a club or group out there for you. Start by doing some research online or asking around at your local community center. I also found that by joining my local Senior Center I was able to find groups to interact with there as well as hear about local events for seniors to attend.  One such event was free tickets to go to the ballet with the group.  I went and it was wonderful!

There are websites like Meetup.com you can look into and find groups in your area that are centered in one of your interests. Once you've found a few groups that interest you, reach out to the organizers and ask about attending their next meeting or event. I did this also and met several lovely ladies who enjoyed gardening as much as I do.  We used to talk regularly about our gardens.

Attend meetings regularly and participate in activities

Volunteer

Once you've found a club or group that suits your interests, it's important to attend meetings and events regularly in order to get to know other members. Participate in group activities and conversations as much as possible - this will help you build relationships with other members more quickly. Don't be afraid to initiate conversations with other members outside of scheduled meetings too! I know that some people cringe at the thought of initiating conversations with strangers, but I am here to tell you that you can learn to do this without all the jitters, but you have to start doing it and with time, it becomes easy as pie.  After all, they are just people and what's the worst that can happen? What's the best thing that can happen?

Suggest getting together for coffee or lunch after an event. My Silver Sneakers group regularly met for coffee after class.  It was because of our coffee dates that we learned about one of our friends being a thespian.  He invited us all to come see him perform at a local theater and we did.  We had such a great time and the play was great!  He really had great talent! Remember that everyone else in the group is also looking for social connections - so be proactive and take the initiative when it comes to building friendships.

Joining a club or group can be one of the best ways to meet new people after retirement. Not only do these groups provide opportunities for socialization, but they also allow retirees to pursue their passions and continue learning new things .

Giving Back While Meeting New People

Volunteering can be a fulfilling way to spend your retirement years. It’s a great way to help others, make a difference in your community, and meet new people at the same time. There are many different organizations and causes that need volunteers, so it’s important to find one that you’re passionate about. Since I have once again moved to a new place to live with my daughter, I am again faced with the problem of not knowing anyone here.  Although I remain in contact with all my friends from my old address, I would love to discover new friends here locally.

So to start, I'll consider looking for volunteer opportunities at local animal shelters or rescues and join a local Senior center. These organizations often rely on volunteers to help with events, programs, and fundraisers. I have to put myself out there if I want to make new friends.

You could also consider volunteering at a local hospital or nursing home. These types of organizations often have volunteer programs where you can assist patients, read to them or simply keep them company. Since I was a nurse before retiring, these opportunities do not appeal to me, but you might enjoy sitting with a sick person who has no family and keeping them company.

Finding Volunteer Opportunities

Finding volunteer opportunities is easier than ever thanks to the internet. Websites like VolunteerMatch.org and Idealist.org let you search for volunteer opportunities based on your location and interests. You can also check out the websites of local charities or non-profits in your area. Don't let fear keep you from reaching out to these organizations and finding the right spot for yourself!

When looking for volunteer opportunities, be sure to consider how much time you’re willing and able to commit. Some organizations may require regular commitments while others only need occasional help with events or projects. If you are like me, I keep myself very busy, so time blocking is very important to make sure I don't overdo and become exhausted.

Overall, volunteering is a great way to give back while meeting new people in retirement. By making connections through shared experiences of helping others in need you'll find yourself enriched by the experience more than anything else!

Attend Events

Fun, Sun, and Socializing: Making the Most of Local Events

This is the perfect time to enjoy the many events and festivals in your community. From outdoor concerts to arts and crafts fairs, these gatherings provide an opportunity to meet new people while enjoying fun activities.

To make the most of these events, it's important to have a positive attitude and be willing to strike up conversations with others. Start by noting something interesting about the event or location, such as a unique food vendor or beautiful landscape.

This can be a great conversation starter that leads to deeper discussions about shared interests. Once you've made a connection with someone, try joining them in exploring the event's attractions together.

Check out art exhibits or watch performances together while discussing your thoughts on what you see. By spending time with others in this way, you'll have more fun and make lasting connections.

The Benefits of Community Events for Retirees

Attending community events can offer numerous benefits for retirees beyond simply socializing. These events often provide opportunities for learning new things or trying new activities that you might not have encountered otherwise. For example, attending local cultural festivals can expose you to different cuisines and traditions from around the world. In Oklahoma, I am learning more about the Native American culture and I am also enjoying the food! This is a perfect example of taking advantage of local events to learn new things.

You may even be able to participate in dance lessons or craft workshops that allow you to learn new skills. Community events also offer a chance to support local businesses and artisans by purchasing their products at booths or browsing their wares at fairs.

By doing so, retirees can contribute positively towards their local economy while enjoying themselves at the same time. Overall, attending community events presents an excellent opportunity for retirees looking for social interaction as well as personal growth through exposure to diverse cultures and experiences within their own communities.

Take Classes

Learn something new while also meeting like-minded individuals

This is a great time to pick up a new skill or hobby, and taking classes is an excellent way to do just that. Whether you're interested in art, cooking, or history, your local community college or adult education center is sure to offer classes that pique your interest.

Signing up for a class not only lets you learn something new, but also provides the opportunity to meet others who share your interests. Taking a class can be intimidating at first, especially if you haven't been in a classroom setting for some time. But the benefits out weigh the fear.  When you take a class you are automatically exposed to new people who are also taking that class.  You already have something in common. It is easy, then, to build on your shared experiences and build new friendships.  Don't be afraid to introduce yourself and strike up conversations with other students during breaks or after class.

You may find that you have more in common than just the subject matter being taught. In addition to learning from the instructor and other students during class time, consider joining study groups or attending optional tutoring sessions if available. In this type of setting, people are more relaxed and will be more open to learning about new people and exchanging experiences.

These activities provide additional opportunities for socializing with classmates outside of regular class hours. Plus, working together on assignments or projects can help build camaraderie and deepen relationships among classmates.

Use Social Media

Join Facebook groups for retirees in your area.

One great way to meet new people after retirement is to join Facebook groups for retirees in your area. These groups are designed specifically for people like you who are looking to connect with others in a similar situation.

You can easily find these groups on Facebook by searching for keywords like "retirees," "seniors," or "golden years"  "volunteering" and adding your city or town name. Once you've joined these groups, take a look at the different posts and discussions happening within them.

You may find events, activities, or clubs that you're interested in joining. Strike up a conversation with others who have similar interests, and see if they'd be willing to meet up in person.

Connect with others online and arrange meetups in person.

Social media can be a great tool not only for connecting with others online but also for arranging meetups in person. Use Facebook Messenger or other messaging platforms to reach out to people you've connected with online, and suggest meeting up for coffee or lunch.

When planning these meetups, be sure to choose a neutral location that's comfortable for both of you. This could be a local cafe, park or even the library.

Remember that safety is important when meeting strangers from social media so use caution when arranging an initial meetup. By using social media as a tool to connect with others and arrange face-to-face meetings, you can expand your social circle after retirement without even leaving your home!

Get Involved in Your Neighborhood

If you're looking for a way to meet new people after retirement, there's no better place to start than your own neighborhood. One of the easiest ways to get involved is by attending neighborhood association meetings and events.

Check with your local community center or city hall to find out when these events are held. At these meetings, you'll have the chance to get to know your neighbors and learn about local issues that affect your community.

You may even discover opportunities to volunteer for neighborhood projects, such as helping with a park cleanup or organizing a community garden. By getting involved in your neighborhood, you'll not only make new friends but also feel more connected to your community.

Meeting new people after you retire can be a bit intimidating, but it's also an incredibly exciting opportunity to start new friendships and enjoy new experiences. Whether you're joining a club or group, volunteering your time, attending events, taking classes, using social media, or getting involved in your neighborhood, there are plenty of ways to meet interesting people and make meaningful connections.

The key is to stay open-minded and keep putting yourself out there. Remember that making new friends takes time and effort.

You may not click with everyone you meet right away, but don't get discouraged. Keep trying different activities and groups until you find the ones that feel like the best fit for you.

Be patient with yourself and others as you navigate these new relationships. Don't forget to have fun!

Meeting new people should be an enjoyable experience that adds richness and fulfillment to your retirement years. So embrace the opportunities that come your way and enjoy all the wonderful people you'll meet along the way!

Retirement: How to plan and prepare to live happily in retirement

Retirement is an important phase of life, and for many people, it can be a time to relax, explore new hobbies, and enjoy the fruits of their labor. However, it can also be a challenging time for some who are transitioning from a busy working life to a more relaxed and unstructured lifestyle. In this post, we will explore some tips and strategies to help make retirement the best time in your life.

• Plan ahead for retirement

Planning ahead is crucial when it comes to retirement. This includes not only financial planning but also making plans for how you will spend your time. It's important to have a clear idea of what you want to do in retirement, whether it's traveling, taking up a new hobby, or spending time with family and friends. By having a plan in place, you'll have a better idea of what you need to do to make your retirement dreams a reality.

But what do you do if you are ready to retire and you have made no plans? I say it is never too late to start making those plans.  Yes, you may have trouble getting things to line up correctly due to frustrations about money or ways and means to accomplish things, but all of those frustrations can be worked through if you just develop patience.  

Let's say you want to travel, but did not make any plans for travel before retiring. Okay, first make a list of all the things you need to do in order to be able to travel.  If you want to travel out of your country, the first thing you need to get is a passport.  Then you need to determine where you want to go and for how long. Then you need to research how much the trip will cost you so you can start saving to cover that cost.  You also need to research how much it will cost while you are there--hotel, meals, travel expenses, etc. Once you have all this information, you can actually begin to plan step-by-step how you can accomplish your goal.

It all goes back to goal setting, which I have talked about before.  Goal setting is something you can do to make your life exactly what you want it to be.  If you would like a free goal setting file, click here.

• Stay active and healthy

Staying active and healthy is essential for a fulfilling retirement. This includes eating a healthy diet, getting regular exercise, and staying socially engaged. Exercise is especially important as it can help improve your physical and mental health, reduce stress, and increase your energy levels. Joining a gym, taking up a sport, or simply going for regular walks are all great ways to stay active in retirement.

Okay, but what if you have already experienced a setback in health that makes being active difficult or seemingly impossible.  Fortunately, being active takes many, many forms and one of them should work for you.  If you can't stand to exercise, there are many programs to exercise in a chair.  Try Silver Sneakers classes. 

If your lungs are compromised or you have heart problems, there are many ways you can pursue an active lifestyle, but you need to ask you physician about them.  If your doctor okays the activity, check out Silver Sneakers, or other aging programs in your neighborhood.  Most will offer activities for people with current limitations.

• Pursue your passions

Retirement is a time to pursue your passions and interests. Whether it's painting, writing, gardening, or playing an instrument, there are many hobbies and activities that can bring joy and fulfillment to your life. Taking up a new hobby or pursuing an existing one can also help keep your mind sharp and improve your overall well-being.

This one is easy.  If you do not now or never have had time for a hobby, it will require a bit of soul searching to discover one that makes you feel joyful.  Also, you should not be ashamed to be a "beginner" in any hobby activity you may choose.  Actually, being a beginner is very refreshing and enables you to reclaim your childhood enthusiasm.  Art, music, photography, bird watching, animal care, wood working, sewing, crochet, knitting--all these and more are available to be learned.  If you Google one of these, you will find a veritable source of learning options for each one.  There are local classes, online classes, videos, blog posts, etc. that will help you learn what you need to know.

• Travel and explore

Traveling and exploring new places is a great way to make the most of your retirement years. Whether you want to visit new countries or explore your own backyard, traveling can be a great way to learn new things, meet new people, and experience new cultures. Planning your trips well in advance can also help you save money and make the most of your travel experiences.

Even though we talked about travel at the beginning, I want to post here about some travel ideas you may not have thought of.  Have you explored the city or area you live in thoroughly?  I bet there are some hidden gems waiting to be found there.  Maybe you have not ever explored your state.  That makes wonderful day trips that are not nearly as expensive and can give you quite a lot of happiness. Sometimes, just going for a very nice, slow-paced drive in the country can be considered travel.  What happens if you don't drive? Well, find a friend who does or if that is not possible, spend time watching travel videos and informational videos about your local area.  Your local librarian is a go-to for this type of information.

The bottom line here is that you can travel and explore no matter your circumstances.

• Volunteer and give back

Volunteering and giving back to your community is a great way to stay active and engaged in retirement. There are many opportunities to volunteer in your local area, whether it's at a food bank, hospital, or animal shelter. Volunteering can not only help you stay connected to your community, but it can also provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment.

If you never thought about volunteering in your community before, once again you can Google the idea and see what you find or you can talk with your librarian who will have many ideas for you.  Like animals? The shelters and rescue organizations are always in need of help. Want to help others? Check out opportunities to help feed, clothe, or learn to read and write. You can also call your local hospitals to join their volunteer staff and keep patients company.  The number of opportunities is astounding.  If you can talk and move around, you can volunteer.

• Connect with others

Staying connected with others is important for a happy and fulfilling retirement. This includes maintaining relationships with family and friends, but also making new connections through community events, clubs, and groups. Joining a book club, taking a cooking class, or attending a lecture series are all great ways to meet new people and stay engaged in retirement.

My whole last post was about this topic, so instead of restating it, you can check it out here.

• Embrace new technology

Technology is constantly changing, and it can be easy to feel overwhelmed by all the new devices and software available. However, embracing new technology can help you stay connected with family and friends, pursue new interests, and even improve your health. From using fitness trackers to staying connected with loved ones through social media, there are many ways that technology can enhance your retirement experience.

We talked a bit about this in the previous post also, but here I would recommend checking out classes to take.  Whether online or in person, you can learn the ins and outs of the new technology there.  Even if you have to learn slowly, you can still be using technology to make your life happier.  I have been working with computers since 1968 and still have to ask questions when I want to do something new.  

It is an ever-developing area and you will never know everything, so don't beat yourself up if it is difficult to catch on.  Start with basics and move slowly.  You will learn what you need to know that way and avoid all the bells and whistles that the tech companies think you need (but really don't).

• Stay financially secure

Financial security is crucial for a happy and stress-free retirement. This includes not only saving enough money to support yourself throughout your retirement years, but also making wise investment decisions and managing your expenses carefully. Seeking the advice of a financial planner can be a great way to ensure that you are on track financially and can enjoy your retirement years without worrying about money.

If you did not save for retirement, you are not alone.  It is possible to be fiscally secure in retirement without large sums of money saved, it is just harder and requires very strict budgeting.  If all you live on is Social Security, you need to make a budget immediately! Go through the last 4-6 months expenses to see what you regularly spend money on and then note extras or surprise expenses.  Use all this information to make a budget that fits your life.  Does that mean you will always have enough money? No, but if you budget a small amount for savings each month, you may be able to handle surprises that pop up. Here is a link to an article with free, printable budgeting sheets.

Money is the biggest cause of anxiety after retirement and you deserve to be free of this anxiety as much as possible.  That does not mean that you won't worry at times, because you will, but if your budget covers all your expenses, you will have some breathing room.

• Take care of your mental health

Taking care of your mental health is just as important as taking care of your physical health. Retirement can be a time of transition and adjustment, and it's important to take steps to maintain your emotional well-being. This can include seeking out support from friends and family, practicing relaxation techniques like meditation or yoga, and staying mentally active through reading, puzzles, or other mental exercises. If you're experiencing feelings of depression or anxiety, it's important to seek professional help from a mental health provider.

As a retired psychiatric nurse, I fully expect everyone to take their mental health seriously.  Depression kills.  Anxiety causes heart attacks.  These are real illnesses and need to be addressed directly.  If you find yourself getting more and more isolative and it is becoming harder and harder for you to go anywhere, you need to talk to your doctor about mental health issues.  Maybe be directed and referred to a counselor or psychiatrist for help.  There is no shame in taking care of yourself this way.

• Stay engaged in your community

Staying engaged in your community is important for maintaining a sense of purpose and connection in retirement. This can include volunteering, attending community events, or getting involved in local organizations. By staying active and engaged in your community, you can make a positive impact on the world around you and feel a sense of fulfillment and purpose.

This is one area that I fear we have lost.  No one knows their neighbors anymore.  That is sad.  But if you live in a housing development or an apartment complex, there may be an organization you could participate in that works to keep your area clean and safe.  Joining up will make you feel better about where you live and will help you make friends with the people around you.  It is always safer if we know each other (those who live around us). If you area does not have anything like this, maybe consider starting one with the help of some others around you.

In addition to the tips listed above, there are many resources available to help you make the most of your retirement years. The following links provide more information and resources on retirement planning, financial planning, and aging gracefully:

1. AARP: The American Association of Retired Persons provides a wide range of resources and information on topics related to retirement and aging.
2. Social Security Administration: The Social Security Administration provides information on retirement benefits, including how to apply for benefits and how to manage your benefits once you're receiving them.
3. Medicare.gov: Medicare is a federal health insurance program for people age 65 and older. Medicare.gov provides information on how to enroll in Medicare, what is covered by Medicare, and how to find a healthcare provider.
4. National Institute on Aging: The National Institute on Aging is part of the National Institutes of Health and provides information on healthy aging, including tips on staying healthy and active as you age.
5. Retirement Living Information Center: The Retirement Living Information Center provides a wide range of resources and information on topics related to retirement living, including retirement communities, assisted living, and long-term care.

So, it is never too late to plan and prepare to live happily in retirement.  All you have to do is put forth a bit of effort and make it happen.  

Staying Connected in Retirement

 One of the first things I noticed when I retired (after I got through sleeping for days) was that I had lost quite a lot of my social support system.  Most of my friends and acquaintances were work related and by retiring, I seemingly lost them.  I still had my family, of course, and I still had friends that were not from my job; however, the bulk of my relationships simply vanished into thin air upon retiring.  What a shocker.

Now, I am a military brat and I am quite used to starting over all the time.  We moved every 2 years in my childhood (and I don't mean down the street) and so every 2 years I had to make new friends and get re-established at a new school.  It was troublesome, but in the long run, I believe it made me very resilient.

I understand there are many, many people who have lived and worked in the very same place their entire lives.  For those, I would hope, the loss of work friends would be very negligible because those friends would also be in other groups like church, activities, neighborhoods, etc.  Maybe the close contact from work would make a slight change in the relationships, but they would still be intact.

Then there are those who moved after retirement to make their income go farther or to be closer to family.  These are the people I think are at risk for feelings of loneliness and depression due to loss of connections. So in this post, I want to identify ways to stay connected after you retire.  I hope to give you a guideline to help you feel that you are not alone and that you are an integral part of something besides being family. Family is good, don't get me wrong, but you will find that they are busy living their lives and will have only so much time for you.

One of the best ways to maintain connections is through social media.  The internet has made it possible to remain connected to friends no matter where they are. It has also enabled us to make friends that live in places we have never been to before.  Social media, however, is a two-edged sword.  There are many pros to using it for connections and there are several cons to doing the same.

Here is a list of some of the pros:

1. Staying connected with loved ones: Social media allows seniors to stay in touch with family members and friends who may live far away or have busy schedules. Through social media, seniors can share updates, photos, and messages with their loved ones in real-time.
2. Building new connections: Social media provides seniors with the opportunity to build new relationships with people who share their interests, hobbies, or backgrounds. By joining groups or communities on social media, seniors can connect with like-minded individuals from all over the world.
3. Access to information and resources: Social media platforms can be excellent sources of information and resources for seniors. From health and wellness tips to news and entertainment, seniors can use social media to stay informed and engaged with the world around them.
4. Mental stimulation: Engaging with social media can help seniors stay mentally active and stimulated, which is important for maintaining cognitive function and overall well-being.

Cons of Social Media for Seniors:

1. Cybersecurity risks: Social media use can put seniors at risk of cybercrime, including identity theft, fraud, and phishing scams. Seniors should be cautious when sharing personal information online and avoid clicking on suspicious links or downloading unknown attachments.
2. Exposure to harmful content: Social media platforms can expose seniors to harmful or inappropriate content, such as fake news, hate speech, or graphic images. Seniors should be careful when browsing social media and avoid engaging with content that makes them feel uncomfortable or upset.
3. Isolation and loneliness: While social media can be a valuable tool for connecting with others, it can also contribute to feelings of isolation and loneliness, especially if seniors spend too much time online instead of engaging in real-life social activities.

Best Practices for Using Social Media as a Senior

1. Protect your personal information: Seniors should be careful when sharing personal information on social media, including their full name, birthdate, address, or phone number. Only share personal information with trusted friends and family members.
2. Be mindful of what you share: Seniors should be mindful of what they share on social media, including photos, comments, and messages. Avoid sharing sensitive or confidential information, and be careful when posting photos or videos of yourself or others.
3. Use privacy settings: Social media platforms offer privacy settings that allow users to control who can see their posts, comments, and profile information. Seniors should review their privacy settings regularly and adjust them as needed to protect their privacy.
4. Stay engaged in real-life social activities: While social media can be a useful tool for staying connected, it should not replace real-life social activities. Seniors should make an effort to engage in real-life social activities, such as volunteering, joining a club or group, or attending events and activities in their community.

There are many free classes offered for seniors to learn the use of computers, the internet, and social media.  You can check some out here:

• https://seniorplanet.org/classes/
• https://www.online-tech-tips.com/cool-websites/free-online-classes-for-seniors/
• https://www.storypoint.com/online-learning-for-seniors/
• https://www.frugalforless.com/free-online-courses-for-senior-citizens/

You should also check out your local library for classes and information.  Our libraries are an untapped font of help and information and the librarians are only happy to help you find out what you need to know.

So, staying connected with social media is a plus for seniors, but there are other ways to remain connected to others after retirement.

One way is to utilize the USPS and mail letters and cards to your friends to let them know what is going on in your life and that you are thinking of them.  I love doing this.  I send out cards periodically each month and I love getting mail in return.  It is still a relatively cheap way to stay in touch.  I guess this appeals to me because when we lived overseas, mail was the only way we had to communicate with others back home.  Even though I have been stateside for 50 years or more, this idea sticks with me.

Another way to stay connected is to make phone calls regularly to talk with your friends and family.  Calls can be short or long, depending on time constraints.  There are ways to make calls be video calls, so that way you can see each other while you talk.  I find that calls are a great way to stay connected with my other friends who have retired.  Their schedules are more relaxed and it is good to be checking in on each other to make sure we are okay.

So, you see, staying connected is not really a problem.  It is, however, an issue that you have to be proactive about.  Don't expect others to make you their priority just because you have retired.  You will have to be the one reaching out.  It's not hard and really takes very little time, money, or effort.

Research has shown that being connected to a social support system improves your quality of life, alleviates feelings of loneliness and depression, and helps maintain your cognitive functioning.  So, use some of these ideas and get yourself connected today.